Valentine’s Day Scrooge

I love people, not Valentine’s Day. In fact, I kind of hate the holiday. That makes me a scrooge and I’m ok with it.

Valentine’s Day puts unnecessary pressure on people to adequately express their love for each other. It makes single people feel sad. And turns mothers of young children into lunatics.

When my husband and I were dating we decided to boycott Valentine’s Day altogether. Why pay the 300% markup on roses one day out of the year? He shows up with flowers on random days, for no particular reason. I love that. He’s thinking of me when he’s not expected to do it.

The holiday has also turned into a competition between mothers of small children. Those of us less-crafty-types feel so inadequate on Valentine’s Day. My first mistake was looking at my Facebook newsfeed last night. My friend, Polly-the-Pinterest-Addict, made these:

I have NO idea what they are, but don’t they look fabulous? Don’t you think the kids will love them? Do you feel as lame as I do? I love Polly to pieces. She inspires me to be a better mom. But that photo made my Valentine’s Day treats look like they belong on the loser mom wall of shame. I did manage to use food coloring to dye the kids’ milk pink. Yay me!

On to the crafts. Check out these gorgeous card boxes by two first graders in my son’s class.

The boa! The glitter! The ladybugs! I have box envy. I simply love it. I simply can’t do it. And nothing says “my kid’s box is better than your kid’s box” like lace:

I know you’re dying to see my son’s box, so without further delay…

Um, yeah, that is the reverse side of some leftover Christmas wrapping paper.

Then there were the beautifully crafted hand-made cards and gifts. I was proud of our store bought cards. Hec, I call it a success if I can get my kids to write their own name 22 times. I don’t bake and I don’t make elaborate doo-dads. Who has the energy? I’m still so tired from that stupid Elf on the Shelf implementing all my fun, creative Elf on the Shelf ideas in December! Can we take a break please? I’m saving up for April, when I have Easter and both kids’ plus my husband’s birthdays all in one week. Pray for me.

Don’t worry. I have a good attitude about Valentine’s Day in public. I even smile, wear a red sweater and hug people. But to be serious, here are three lessons about love we can learn from this holiday:

  • Tell people you love them. Not just on Valentine’s Day. Tell them every day.
  • Show people you love them. Do something unexpected for a friend. Send a card for no reason. Make your husband his favorite meal on a Tuesday night.
  • Reach out to those who might not feel loved. Chances are you know someone who is hurting over relationships in their life. They’ve lost a parent. They’re the new kid at school. They’re going through a divorce. Notice them. Befriend them. Invite them to lunch.

I encourage you to focus less on the performance aspect of Valentine’s Day. Of course if you’re a talented baker or crafty-type and you enjoy those things, rock on! (And will you make some things for me next year, please? I’ll pay you.) But for those like me who are self-critical on a holiday like today, keep in mind it doesn’t matter if yours is the best gift, most delectable treat or embellished card. Take the pressure off yourself and do one thing. Love others. Every day of the year.

 
 
  • http://Www.vanhoozer.blogs.com Mike Van Hoozer

    Very funny! Love the 3 lessons!

    • Heidi

      Great post, Tracy; more evidence as to our “separated at birth” status. As a mom of young children who both decided to MAKE their Valentine’s this year, I couldn’t agree more. I secretly admit to being relieved that I was scheduled to be out of town so the responsibility of project-managing this task fell to Super Dad, not me.

      What makes him Super Dad isn’t his exceptional creativity or fantastic artistic ability (both of which he has in spades), but the fact that he reminded me that it wasn’t about delivering the most AMAZING VALENTINES EVER!, but about letting the girls be creative and have fun on this “holiday.”

      They had a blast and their Valentine’s had all the love in them that those two precious girls, under the encouraging but not micromanaging eye of their Dad, can put into them. Once again, they teach me more than I teach them. Still, when I am asked next week about their valentine’s, I wonder if I will resist the temptation to smile, roll my eyes appropriately, and say, “Well, I was on a business trip…” One day I will get it. Thanks to you, and them, for the lesson. xo

      • Tracy

        Thanks for sharing, Heidi. Your sweet girls made wonderful cards from the heart, no doubt!

    • Tracy

      Thanks, Mike!

  • Robert Taylor

    I’m totally with you, Tracy. I think parents are getting out of hand in general (not just Valentine’s Day), with try to have the biggest/best/brightest decoration/birthday party/Halloween costume/Christmas gift/etc.

    It has turned everything into an “arms race”. I can’t remember ever buying V-day cards as a kid. I made about 20 of them out of construction paper, dropped a couple of those (AWFUL) chalky hearts with them, and called it a day.

    I guess to some extent this is an outlet for some parents to “show their love” for their kids (as an “Act of Service”: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/), but for the most part, I think it’s just a way for some people to “win”. I hope I’m wrong (Am I getting cynical? Or am I just jealous, because, like you, I don’t have the proclivity to make such amazing things, or the intestinal fortitude to drop $800 on a kids’ 5th birthday, or… you get the point).

    • Tracy

      Great points, Robert!

  • ali

    oh trace, remember the carnations that you could buy for 50 cents at high school and give to your boy/girlfriend on valentine’s day? cringe-worthy.